


Don't get attached...but don't be alone

by ScreamingLordByron



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (1963), Doctor Who (2005), doctor - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-23
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-07-16 00:04:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16074185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScreamingLordByron/pseuds/ScreamingLordByron





	Don't get attached...but don't be alone

The pair were perched in the doorway of the Tardis, their legs dangling over the edge.

The Doctor had 'parked' his machine seemingly in mid-air -- except there was no air: they were in Space (but fortunately not boiled alive without a suit, thanks to the bubble the Tardis gave them).

Y/N's mouth had by this time closed, now the initial shock of seeing the Earth from afar was over. Anyway, the box had swung round to face a meteoroid shower in the distance, with Mars appearing almost vermilion below. Despite the movement of any 'falling stars', the scene before her seemed still. A snapshot, of one small part of the Solar System. There was, of course, no sound, bar the gentle breathing of her companion. The sense of quiet stasis led Y/N to believe that -- if she listened hard enough -- she would be able to hear the Doctor's two heartbeats next to her.

Or would they pulse in unison, and therefore sound like one, only stronger? Or perhaps they beat separately, filling the other's pauses with an inaudible 'thud' but sometimes overlapping in response to excitement or fear. Was one fast and the other slow? Did both ache when grieving loss or thinking of love?

Though of course it was foolish to think that such things could be heard, the last thought, in particular, made Y/N's own (lone) heart beat notably faster than before and she wondered/worried about whether Time Lords had better ears than she.

So she glanced at the Doctor, only to find, in her distraction, that he was already looking at her. The two maintained eye contact for a few intense seconds (hers anxiously wide, his slightly squinted in amusement and puzzlement) until the Doctor grinned that grin that always seemed to look mischevious, and laughed that deep, throaty laugh that was unmistakeable.

Y/N, too, smiled and chuckled as the moment ended and she returned to looking at the view. Any tension that she had felt dissipated -- only to be soon brought back by the touch of slender fingers and a cool hand on her own.

She quickly quelled that feeling of held breath, though; indeed it was with considerable strength of will that Y/N did not turn, but kept facing forward, and allowed herself to enjoy the (platonic) intimacy. Even before making such decisions, however, Y/N had automatically interlaced her fingers with the Time Lord's and squeezed. He, in response, slowly and deliberately rubbed his thumb across the back of her hand.

This time the Doctor was not looking at his human, his line of sight in parallel with hers and falling upon one particular star, near them, that he knew to be named ¤¢Δ•~Π>|«¦-¥. He recalled, with some mirth, the quaint Earth convention of making a wish upon such a body of rock -- little would those mortals know they were planting their trust in a piece of debris called (something like) 'Unfortunate Wart(!)'. All the same, he wondered whether Y/N had, just now, indulged in the human belief that he had just silently disparaged. He felt almost guilty for even translating the name in his head, for it would have threatened -- had he remarked upon it aloud -- to remove all beauty and romance (or at least that which he was sure he felt) from the situation.

It had been some months since it had dawned on the Time Lord that he loved her. Mere milliseconds in his long lifetime, but the constant task of concealing his adoration, and restraining his ardour, made each day he spent with Y/N seem unending. They had been travelling together for over a (human) year, and from the beginning his silent mantra had been 'don't get too attached'. Simultaneously, though, did the direction 'don't be alone' (given to him by a dear, departed friend) tussle for preeminence in his thoughts. The Doctor was only two aware of what the two states, attachment and isolation, could do to him.

Y/N realised that she had been holding her breath just as the Doctor remembered the move that he had made: he had taken her hand. Worse! He had practically caressed her palm! What was this sudden confidence, on his part? Sure, he could be arrogant when being clever, but he tried to never presume feelings. Living things, mortals -- humans, especially -- were such fickle creatures. The Time Lord berated himself for his stupidity. He thought to himself how his vision was ostensible worse, now, despite his sight being restored: he failed to see the consequences of an act of affection before committing it.

The Doctor made to withdraw his grasp.

Before the two had even been fully disconnected, Y/N knew that she should have been bold enough to move with purpose to maintain the moment; to make a point; to keep his hand in hers, or hers in his. How perfectly do two hands fit together!

It was too late now, of course, she thought, and thus her lap gained hands. Refocussing on those distant stars, and after a discreet cough, Y/N spoke (and with rather more coolness than she felt):  
'Thank you, Doctor, for taking me.'

His response was fast, as he swung round to sit cross-legged and face Y/N, in strong Scottish tones:  
'Take you? Take you where?'

At this point, Y/N was still gazing ahead, but as soon as she had begun her answer she mirrored her partner in his position.  
'Oh..for bringing me here, I suppose -- but also for...taking me with you, to so many places and times, for so long. This past year has been the best of my life, but I really do not know how you've managed to put up with me because--'

Their knees now touched, and the Doctor interjected: 'Y/N, it is I who should be thanking you. You see, there is something I feel I must tell you. Something I have been thinking about for a considerable time now and I feel...at this stage I must not leave it any longer. Well, you see--'

Abruptly, the Time Lord got up and began pacing quite rapidly around the control room of the Tardis. Y/N was faintly unnerved, because he seemed anxious somehow -- was he going to tell her to go?

Instead, however, he gave her a greater shock. He told her he loved her.

The words he used to do so were the standard three, but the intensity with which he spoke them made Y/N feel as if the sounds themselves were imbued with some meaning above and beyond what they usually communicate -- perhaps because they were simultaneously the words she had envisaged herself saying to the Doctor, as well as the words she had imagined him saying to her.

'I love you', the Doctor said again, his companion's silence making him wonder whether he had only said so in his head the first time. But Y/N had heard, and the shock and joy she felt had struck her mute. The Time Lord continued, in a nervous rush: 'I -- as I've said -- have been thinking on this for a while now and, well, I've decided that I love you, Y/N, deeply. You thanked me for taking me with you, on my Tardis, 'to so many places and times', but it has been my utter and absolute pleasure, 'for so long' -- a year, exactly. You might say this is (well...some might say this is) our -- anniversary.' At this point the Doctor looked at Y/N for the second time after his confession -- she was standing up, now! He anticipated her telling him kindly that she did not love him the same -- wondering to himself what on earth came over him that led him to think that he, a clumsy alien, could possibly incite the affections of a human as young and fascinating as Y/. His anxiety increased, he spoke with even greater speed: 'However one might also say that I have *kept* you long enough! Haha -- who would want to travel forever, it's exhausting isn't it! Allons-y, hey? Back to earth, is it?'

Before the Doctor could reach the controls, though, Y/N had intercepted, grabbing him by the arms and shaking him lightly and with amusement. 'Oh, Doctor, Doctor, Doctor. For a man who always goes on about how clever he is, you really can be awfully stupid.' And on that last word, she leant up to kiss the clumsy Gallifreyan on the lips -- and after approximately 2.3 seconds of being surprised, the Doctor gathered himself and kissed her back. The Tardis seemed to hum in contented approval as the pair continued their passionate embrace.

After a while, the Doctor leaned back and said with a grin: 'Since cleverness seems to be evading me today, I'll just confirm with you that I should take the kiss to mean--'; Y/N interrupted: 'that I love you too? Yes, Doctor (she returned the grin), I love you. I love you to the stars and back!' 'Well', said the Doctor (leading Y/N by the hand to the door of the time machine), 'star ¤¢Δ•~Π>|«¦-¥ (the translation he kept to himself!) isn't too far off, (he turned Y/N towards him in mock horror and sorrow) do you really only love me that much?!'

In response, Y/N exclaimed, 'You *know* what I mean!' She clasped his face in her hands, and this time brought him down to her level for their second kiss -- this even more passionate than the last, but merely the second of many more to come in a long future of mutual adoration and happiness (in the time they were together).


End file.
